Sunday, January 30, 2005

My biggest fear will be the rescue of me...

Assalamualaikum n hi². It's been quite a long time for me to write since my previous entry. I was kind of busy doing this and that. So I think this entry will fairly be a long one. And I mean a VERY long one. Hmm so many stories to be carved in here. Aha I'll start with the Eid al-Adha celebration.

And so as usual, our family went to my mom's kampung at KL (haha kampung kat KL hahahaha) when it was nearly reaching the afternoon. Nothing interesting. Except for my nephew. He's grown quite tall for a 6 months old toddler. Maybe my family's gene did a good job while he was in his mother's womb. My grandmom was somewhat like sulking with my family as we didn't contact her for a moderate time. Ignorantly I told I didn't miss her at all haha. Sarcastic as it may seem but I was quite annoyed with this type of attitude. I do love my grandmom. I'm very close with her. I still remember my grandpa told me that their house is quiet when I'm not there (yes I'm the noisiest after my second youngest cousin). Well I guess it's normal for the elders to feel that way. Maybe she was feeling neglected. I'm yet to understand about this matter. She didn't say it but she potrayed her feelings through her acts. I know deep inside her soul she was missing us like hell. My emotional intelligence is still below the par I guess.

And this made me think; will I still feel the same when the time comes for me? Will my mom still be my number one? You see, when guys become husbands, it's quite a handful of trouble for us to prioritize our beloved moms. Most of us guys really love our mom. But when we're married, the conflict will arise with no intention. No matter how devoted we are to our wives, we still have to think about and care for our moms. Speaking from a Muslim's view, the top three to be loved by men are: God, Rasulullah (Prophet Muhammad) and our moms accordingly. As for the women, once you are married, your husbands came in third after God and Rasulullah. So it's not that hard to converge your love to your soulmate I guess. And still there are some wives out there who still disobey their husbands as if the world is being conquered by maternal powers. The same goes to married men who don't take care of their moms. Err to their dads too. Kiss your mom for every possible chance you have dude. The last thing you want to do is to kiss your mom's forehead before she is forever covered in earth.

After that, the Sulaimans went to Mr Sulaiman's kampung: Johor. We had a barbeque party at night. It was fun coz I rarely had a bbq party before. I baked hot dogs, lamb and chicken and most of them turned out fine to be perfect alternative fuel resources haha. So I did what I do best: sit and eat (wow it rhymes perfectly). I recalled my cousins and I talked about crappy things, most of them are related to the upcoming futsal match between the Semenanjung and the Sarawak families.

Ain : Bojed, team Sarawak menang lah mlm ni. Tgk tu kita ade Ajit. Striker power tu.
Yoyo : Elehh Bojed.. Ajit tu gaya je lebih.
Me : Gaya lebih ape... xde gaya striker langsung haha.

So and so the conversation was prone to attack each other's psyhcological firewall. Everyone was very creative upon pointing out their own predictions. Then came our Singaporean relatives, which to my amazement, have cultured two beautiful girl cousins. Wow~ All of us took photos and then we went to play futsal at Larkin.

The first line ups for the Semenanjung team was so devastating. There was my dad (bummer), an unknown Singaporean relative, Acis (highly affected by the introvert syndrome), Ikhwan (my cousin's husband) and the graceful me. My dad positioned himself as the striker (bummer again). And before I notice it, everybody became strikers. No defenders. I was the only one left to guard our goal. The Sarawakians made the first breakthrough when my uncle who easily penetrated into our area, running as fast as he could (damn he was fast despite of his height shortage and carrying around that cute tummy of his haha). My father was a skillful jester alright but hey, this wasn't the English Games although there's a prize for the winner (ala yg kalah pun slambe je leh pow hadiah yg menang.. kata sedara haha).

My Sarawakian aunty went crazy all over the futsal court when the Sarawakians took the lead. Moreover it was his husband who made the opening score (sape x bangga beb suami dah tua² pun cergas lagi haha). As expected, our team conceded more and more goals for the opponent side and our first goal came through Ikhwan. This guy looks like a quiet nerd to be frank, but his skills are somewhat distinguished. After that, came the real replacements. My relatives came in and replaced my passionate dad, Ikhwan and Acis. This time we were the ones who returned the medicine to the Sarawakians. And my Sarawakian aunty was gone, nowhere to be seen (cekap gile melarikan diri haha). We won the game. Maybe it was because of our beautiful Singaporean cousins sitting at our side that made us highly motivated to prove something or everything to them haha. That's all for the Eid al-Adha.

Hmm what else. I did say this entry is going to be a very long one right? Aha Nasa and I did something mischievous. We sent to some of our friends the link of a prank website called the Crush Calculator. The idea was to seduce selected victims to list their crush's name and trick them that the website will calculate the love potential among them. But unfortunately, the victims' name along with their crushes' will be sent to the senders, which in this case are the both of us. So I got some names that I know very well (harkhark). The funniest thing is that there were some who noticed they have been tricked and with the ideology of If-I'm-tricked-then-my-friends-should-be-too spread the very same link I gave them to their friends. And in the end, I got the names of people who are so out of the world for me haha.

There is still a moral value I gained from being a temporarial prankster. I realized that some of my friends who only put the names of their current lovers and innocently left their previous lovers' names. Yeah I know it's your own choice but still, why lie? Who are you lying to? Yourself? And come to think of it, does this mean you're also lying in your love life? Maybe I'm wrong. Quite possibly I'm right. Is it? Or is it not? What's the real deal then? Where's the truth? How do you define the word truth? And most importantly, do you believe in the truth? La la la~ Sorry but I'm just another emotion manipulator living in this world.

Darn this is tiring. My student life was so-so over the previous week. I was stupidly caught absent by my Operating Systems lecturer and I was responsible for the mistake (kantoikan diri sendri la lebih kurang). I didn't come to her class the day before and in the next class, I wrote my name on a new page of the attendance sheet when suddenly she asked "Why are you writing your name for next month's attendance?". I was stunned haha. But she was okay. She didn't nag nor babbled. Maybe my smile came to the rescue ah ah ah. Whatever it is, phew~.

My Japanese conversation test also faced trouble. It was a group presentation and a minimum team members of two are required to make conversation with each member will have to speak Japanese for at least 10 sentences. My friend and I spoke like Japanese wannabes with all these dialects and intonations streaming from our mouths. Then the lecturer said " Your Japanese language is far more advanced and there are some words and grammatical structures that we won't be learning at all even in the highest level of Japanese language offered here. So I consider this is a violation of instructions as your conversation is not within the syllabus. I will either give you small marks or you can have a second chance next week." Damn after all the efforts of seeking help from my friend who's going to further her study in Japan this March, plus the tremendous attempts of memorizing the whole dialogue in 4 hours or so, this is the only remarks I got. Super duper damn. But then again it was my fault. I didn't follow her order. Damn damn damn.

But the most irritating moment award would go to yesterday. I had a group presentation for the network security course and all groups were supposed to demonstrate 5 types of hacking at the faculty's foyer. Some us got all five. Some of us, including my group, managed partially to do so. Others are history. Boastingly my lecturer asked "Is it that hard to do this thing? Do you even know how to install the FreeBSD operating system? I can do this within an hour only" Great. Another stupid person came into the education line and became a lecturer. Stupid in terms of personal thoughts. In case if you didn't notice my dear sweet lecturer, we did the project using FressBSD as our platforms. You are a lecturer so you should know more than us. If we surpass you at this time, in my lowest common sense, I think you should be our student and let us teach you in the class okay? Or perhaps should I ask you to do a simple accounting balance sheet which you must be able to learn it by yourself and complete it all within an hour time. Maybe this is his way of motivating his students. I would say many people love to challenge others by defaming them and then say it is motivational. Okay you can take a ride to Hell then. I totally disagree with this type of motivation. You should be in the army if you have this sort of mentality but why aren't you? Oh yes, you're a fat boy(banyak gile dosa aku ngn lecturer ni). If it is ever possible in my entire whole life, I would like to have the chance of bashing up my network security lecturer until he learns how to defend himself up. I would be more than happy to return you the favor.

Last night, Fred and I went to play futsal at Shah Alam with my classmates. That's not exactly the story I want to tell. The wonderful journey began when we were on our way to our signature mapley: Tanjung USJ. As soon as we left the sports center's gate, Fred came up with some riddles for me(this guy is totally fun).

1st riddle...

Fred: Wey aku ade teka-teki. Ni ade kaitan ngn maths arr.
Me : Ha ckp lah.
Fred: Ok. Klau 1=5, 2=10, 3=15, 4=20.. So klau 5 same ngn ape?
Me : Aku tau ni mesti bukan 25.
Fred: Aah btul tp bape??
Me : 6? 7? 26?
Fred: Salah² haha..
Me : Argh ok la aku surrender la. Bape?
Fred: Klau 1=5, 2=10, 3=15, 4=20 so 5=1 la kohkohkoh.
Me : Hahaha siot btul. Eh dah tu klau 2=10 so 10=2 la eh?
Fred: Eh ni ape nk counter aku balik ni??
Us : Hahahahahaha.

2nd riddle...

Fred: Ok ni aku ade teka teki gempak. Dlm byk² beger, beger ape plg best?
Me : Ni ade kaitan ngan pervert² ke?
Fred: Hah? Xde la haha. Klau pervert ape jwpn dia?
Me : Haa tu jap lg aku gtau ko k ahaha.
Fred: Hoho ok². Dah tu ko tau x jwpn teka-teki ni?
Me : Beger free?
Fred: Salah!
Me : Ahh siot je salah. Begedil?
Fred: Hehe salah gk. Jwpn nye: Bergembira la hahahaha.
Me : Kahkahkah klakar gk ni.
Fred: Sbenarnye begedil tu alternate answer gak sbb aritu member aku bg teka-teki ni kat member aku lg sorg pastu dia jwb bergembira. Yg member aku dh hilang akal tukar jwpn jd begedil.
Me : Laa dh tu ni ape ni? Org lain kena sentiasa salah ke? Hahaha nguk.
Fred: Haha tu lah.
Me : Dah tu klau ade sorg jwb bergembira sorg lg jwb begedil. Ko nk jwb pe?
Fred: Kena cari lg la pape² yg kena.
Me : Salah. Jwb la beger free tadi hahahahahah.
Fred: Kahkahkah. Eh jap.. td ko ckp psal beger pervert tu. Pe jwpn dia?
Me : Ntah aku pun xtau. Ade ke beger pervert? Hahaha nguk.
Fred: Harkharkhark!

3rd riddle...

Fred: Ha aku ade lg teka-teki ni. Nk dgr x?
Me : Boleh je.
Fred: Dlm byk² binatang, binatang ape yg paling kedekut?
Me : Beruang la.
Fred: Apsal beruang lak?
Me : Sebab beruang dia ber"wang"..byk duit tp xnk bg kat binatang lain haha.
Fred: Kahkah tu leh jd gk tp xkena la. So binatang pe?
Me : Lembu? Unta? Kambing?
Fred: Salah. Jwpn nye: kuda. Sebab klau kuda jln bunyi kedekut kedekut harhar.
Me : Haha byk la ko.
Fred: Ha ni extended version. Klau kuda plg kedekut, binatang mane yg x kedekut?
Me : Mesti la binatang selain kuda.
Fred: Salah. Jwpn nye: kuda jln reverse. Bunyi dia tak kedekut tak kedekut haha.
Me : Haha nguks! Ha ni extended version aku lak.
Fred: Wah ade lg ke? Ha ape dia?
Me : Dlm byk² kuda, kuda ape yg kite xleh nmpk dia?
Fred: Kuda mati? Haha
Me : Ahaha boleh la tp xsesuai sgt ngn soalan aku.
Fred: Kuda dlm tanah?
Me : Tetibe kuda dlm tanah kahkah.
Fred: Haha tah la ape jwpn dia?
Me : Jwpn nye: kuda tgh menyorok hahahaha
Fred: Hahahaha

And then we arrived and sat on the same table with Fred's eldest brother's friends. They were a happening lot. Last night was very entertaining for me. We talked bout many things but I prefer not to write them here. Those are just memories I prefer to share with my closest ones. Well all in all, I'm very grateful for not furthering my study at MMU like Fred or else I'll be extending my study time for constantly laughing at Fred's company. Hey hilang ilmu kan klau gelak bebanyak haha~

To those who came here before only to found no updated entries, I apologize for that. After all I'm not paid to write ah ah ah. Thank you all. InsyaAllah we'll meet again. Take that magical brush and paint your world beautiful. Tata~

p/s - Peterpan - Mimpi yang Sempurna (acoustic version. The one with piano on it). A new Indonesian Band. A very good song. Ahh and yes I've found an interesting website. Feel free to click on this link

-killing people with my charms-

Friday, January 21, 2005

So beautiful are your eyes...

Hi there me myself. Hi there friends. Hi there friends of my friends. Hi there strangers. Hi hi and hi. It's 2.53am and I'm ignorantly sipping coffee from one of my favourite mugs. Yup this is my favourite time for a cuppa. I mean a hot cup of coffee. Or cups perhaps. I'm savoring my ear drums with Aqueous Transmission by Incubus. It's really a nice song to be heard during this time and for me, the song has some undescribable soothing effects on my tangled emotion.

There is a koto (a japanese guitar-like instrument), an acoustic bass i think, slow drum beats, melodic violin sound, frogs croaking rhythmically, pipes (seruling@serunai tah la aku xtau...rekorder kut haha), a whole bunch of unidentified instruments, some mild deejay scratching sound (believe me it's there and it contributes quite a significant amount of roles for the song's humbleness.. weird eh?) and last but not least: Brandon Boyd's seducing vocals with his ahhh~ trailing voice.

But actually the thing I'm supposed to hear right now is the Takbir because tomorrow, Muslims all over this graceful sphere will celebrate Eid Al-Adha. I hope tomorrow's preach will be interesting as I'm still wide awake right now and there's this 90% chance for me to seek sheer pleasure of cruising in the slumber world while the khatib is delivering his preach. Hmm let me recall first. I don't think I've ever slept in the masjid during preaches, be it either for the Friday prayers or both Eid Al-Fitr and Eid Al-Adha. However, some "accidental" exceptions did occur but it was during my secondary school years.

Being in a boarding school, what do you expect when your own religious teachers were the khatibs and their preach were much the same as what they were going to say during Monday assembly (err my school puts up one assembly per day from Monday until Friday every week. Plus another one on working Saturdays). So many preaches. So little outcomes. Haha. Well if I was to uphold Islam firmly as my religion during my school days, I should've at least listen to all of those good-sayings. Just like in the Al-Quran, a part from Surah Al-Asr which goes something like this: "Remind others with the truth. And remind others with patience". Don't get me wrong. I'm no preacher. In fact I'm not that pious of a Muslim. But it's just something I would like to jot down. Just as a reminder for myself. And for you perhaps.

Hmm nothing's interesting today. Oh yes maybe there is. First, I finally got the chance to have a little conversation via Yahoo Messenger with Rina, a girl I merely know and likewise for her. Before this I've made several attempts to talk with her but to no avail. I don't know. Maybe she was too busy. Maybe I was very irritating. Well it doesn't matter anymore haha poyo je la aku ni. I knew her existence through Lalok and his gf, and from other friends as well. Nothing fancy with my intentions. I just want to see her working out with her skills on playing the piano, as I heard she's quite an applausable pianist. Boleh kan Rina kan? Kalau xleh sukati ko la ah ah ah...

Second, the David Letterman Late Night Show. I don't know what happened to Dave. Maybe he's on a vacation or something like that. Guess who was the host? It was Paul! Yes the very same bald Paul who used to play the keyboard for Dave's show. And I think he is quite good too. Not surprising though because he did make some good spontaneous hostings with Dave on the show. But my biggest question goes to Dave: where are you? Oh well like I care whatever happens to you haha. Aha the guest performing artist was a band called And You Will Know Us By The Trail of Dead. Quite a tedious effort just to enunciate their name. They look something like those guys from Weezer. You know those nerdy-80's looks. Their music was okay to me. Eccentric. They colored the music world with something different. That's cool.

What's more cooler than ice cubes (did u notice? This is a part of the Hey Ya! lyrics by Outkast. I love Outkast!) is that they have two drummers. And I mean two drummers with two drum sets. I was eager to see how superb the outcomes will be by having two drummers in a band. As expected...nothing much. Pretty simple drumming I would say. There are some sounds in their performance that is hard to be done by a single drummer but it was hardly countable or should I say, hardly noticable. Thumbs down. You can watch the video by clicking here.

It's now 4.44am and I fancy a little sleep right now but darn, my coffee is still in the mug and it's still looking heavenly delicious as ever. And there's still 1 hour 15 minutes left for my Naruto 119 anime to finish download. I guess I'll just have to stop here. To my Muslim fellows: Selamat Hari Raya Eid Al-Adha. Maaf Zahir Batin. Bye and enjoy your day~

p/s - Take a listen to Patah by Padi. My legs turned into lime jello upon hearing this song haha. To Acad: Best ke raya UK?? Malaysia lagi meriah siot ah ah ah...
I miss my chimpanzee: meme. Jgn panjat² pokok ye monyet...

-killing people with my charms-

Thursday, January 20, 2005

Unveiled secrets. Truly yours...

Assalamualaikum and/or good morning/afternoon/evening to everyone who made it to my blog. I'm very honored and pleased for your willingness to come here. Thank you very much.
As I would say, miraculously this isn't my first blog. Really. I've made a couple of blogs before but they are nowhere to be seen (I'm not very good with html codes.. I screwed most of my previous blog until they looked like some books written by an illiterate person...Get the idea? So much of being an IT student~). Hmm there are many things I would like to write down. I think I'll start with being concern to your friends.
There was this one time when a friend gave me a message that she's going to consult a specialist for her health problems. I'll call her Kay for a referrential reason. So Kay told me this and that (I don't intend to tell you the particulars.. I'm sorry) and I think she did the right move. I mean if you have a problem, go and meet someone who you can really rely on to help you.. not forgetting God too. With people of high experience and skills, I'm 80% sure if not solved, your burdens will be lessen to a reasonable weight.

After a while, another friend of ours, Tee, asked me if anything was wrong with Kay because she seemed unreachable throughout any possible communication media. Considering that Tee and Kay are somewhat good friends from my hazy eyes, I uncovered the truth before Tee's nose. She was really shocked like a frozen dead hen on a pole (ok² I'm exaggerating this to a great length) upon hearing the real story of Kay but it was somewhat expected because she didn't have a single clue about Kay's problem.

I raised my eyebrows. How couldn't Tee know about this? My curiosity began to expand. Does anyone really know what's going on with Kay? Didn't she tell anyone except me? As a potential future CNN reporter (credits to Ayuni Safira for proposing me the job), I wrote something personal but could be read by anyone in the internet just to tell how Kay is doing and what is she doing at the moment.

Soon after, disaster echoed towards me. I got a message from Kay, shooting all her fiery anger at my mobile phone. She told me her problem was to be a secret and it wasn't funny to be in her situation. And i was like "what the hell? when did i say it was funny?" and so blablabla. The climax arrived when she said that she thought i could be trusted and she was all wrong. Just all wrong. That was truly the deepest cut i've experienced in my new life as an undergraduate. And I didn't even know the whole story should be kept in a black box. She didn't tell me a single thing about keeping the story beyond everybody's reach. I'm not pointing out who is to be blamed as I'm precisely sure most of it came from me. There are more painful things to be said but I rather keep them at bay.

I was just trying to be concern I told her. Then she replied me with a sharp answer: she needs some time to be alone. She doesn't want anyone else to come into her life and try to fix it for her. Hmm i was startled for I also have been living with the same idea of acquiring some time to be alone just for myself. I guess everyone needs it. You need those "isolated" times to give a thought about yourself... well at least I do. Maybe you can obtain something more. Who will ever know if it is not you yourself who search for it. As for now I've intruded her privacy and worse, I've polluted her personal needs. Some points to ponder:
  • How should we know how and when to give our hands regarding to people who are close to us, provided if there isn't any clue given...
  • Does it really help if we try to live on our own?? The idea is none of us wants to be a living island. Maybe there are some exceptions but are they firm enough to be valid? Perhaps they do or perhaps they don't...
  • What does true friendship mean anyway? To understand discreetly one's feeling or intention without ever telling? Mind-boggling telepathic i would say...
  • Hands over hands... Does it really matter? Don't you ever weep once they are forever gone from your lives. Good things are mostly for short terms only.

I don't think it's that hard to answer those questions. But have it ever crossed your mind that simple acts will eventually lead us to bigger consequences. Try to think of flamboyant acts. Quite interesting right? Ok enough of preaching. InsyaAllah I'll write more. Hmm it's really an unexplainable pleasure when you are able to convey your story/thoughts/ideas etc your own way. Simply amazing. I guess I'll stop here. I'm going for my usual nasi lemak, read some news, watch my neighbor's daughters dancing infront of their house and pull the blanket up to my nose for a sleep. Oh man how I love my life haha. Till then, goodbye and have a glorious day.

p/s - Try and hear Incubus - Pantomime (Search for live versions ie: Live in Red Rocks, concerts etc. The studio version is not that great in my opinion). Figurative lyrics. Ground-shaking tunes. And yes girls, your ever-beautiful Brandon Boyd plays the guitar for this song...

-killing people with my charms-